Bubble Butt Of My Dreams

I have always wanted a booty. 

And now,

I have one.

Thank you, Double-O Booty Lifter!

t.

The Wasps

I needed to go there, and this took me by the hand and got me there.

The Wasp Overture was compose by this dude named Ralph Vaughan Williams in 1909. He was in his twenties when this piece was commissioned. 

As of yet, none of my work has been commissioned. Come to think of it, I have never composed anything. Oh well. Better get on that.

This orchestral piece made me think of great, wide-open spaces! Of adventure! Of possibilities! 

It renewed my hope on this rare, raining morning in the desert.

t.

More Vaughan Williams

Back To Black

I recently colored my hair using:

Momma's hair color was looking a bit dull and tired and old. I usually go to this place, but my schedule is ... complicated, at best. So, I bit the bullet, bought the box, mentally amped myself up, put on my husband's old black tee, and began. 

Guess what? It doesn't smell like a toxic waste dump. When I (invariably) splattered some on my face, my neck, the sink, my arms, it wiped off quite easily. (I didn't say I was GOOD at coloring my hair.)

And the results? Sexy and vibrant and super duper shiny, y'all! Soft like buttah. I love it, because I endorse hotness.

Buy it.

t.

Foster A Little Love

I like kids. They are funny and mostly awesome and when they smell nice they are kinda cool.

But I don't wanna look like this again:

So, we became foster parents.

When we told our friends and family we were going down the yellow brick road of foster parenting, the responses ran the gamut from super supportive to rudely cautious. 

We did it anyway, 'cause we usually do what we want. We figure that God is so big, He would stop us if it were not something we should be doing. However, His heart is for the orphan and the widow. So we kept plunking along, and at the end, we got a couple of little babies.

:) Baby One

:) Baby Two

It's been pretty neat-o. Lots of poo and diapers and rashes and doctors visits. Lots of tears and screaming and laughing. Lots and lots of poo. 

We would do it again, and again, and again.

So, if you are thinking about fostering, take the plunge. You don't have to be rich; you don't have to be married. You just have to be available. No matter what the outcome, no matter if you do decide to go through with it or not, at least you can say you gave it a go. Do it, if you dare.

t.

Every Morning I Wake Up, Before I Put On My Makeup

I say a little prayer for youuu.

I like you, makeup. We have had a long and loving relationship. I have dabbled in drugstore versions of you. I have splurged on Saks renditions. I have reveled in Ulta/Sephora concoctions.

I have whittled the options down to a choice few. My morning routine consists of waking, feeding, brushing, and buckling four kiddos into my awesome mom-SUV. Three of the aforementioned four children are under the age of three. I attest to a no-nonsense, efficient (read: less than 5-minute) beauty routine that makes me look GOOD. My mantra: I may be frazzled, but I'll be darned if I look it.

Here is the best in the wild, wild west:

Laura Mercier Creme Smooth Foundation. $50 Bucks.

We begin with this delicious goody. This formula is moisturizing, NOT greasy or oily. My skin tends to be dry with a shiny, shiny nose, and this is the perfect balance of delicate hydration and mattifying goodness, all while not becoming slick. The coverage is AMAZING. 

I put this on once in the am, and then any touch-up needed during the day ( or night ) are done with the Dior compact below.

Buy it.

Note:

I have also tried Bobbi Brown Extra SPF Tinted Moisturizing Balm, but the coverage was super minimal and my face was like an oil slick.

Dior Nude Skin Gel Compact. $50 bucks.

This makes you even-toned; no red or blue discoloration can survive a few well-placed swipes. It goes on super smooth, never cakey, easily blend-able. My facial canvas is done within ten seconds.

You will look well-rested. 

You will look about 8 years younger.

I use it everyday. It lasts about two months.

Buy it.

Bobbi Brown Creamy Concealer. $23 bucks.

This is thick and hardcore, yet smooth and creamy. If I am rubbing, or patting, anything on my tender little face, it had better feel as good going on as it looks after I put it on.

It is my war paint. No sleep? No problem. Well, yes, a problem, but no blue under eye circles. It also works well on the occasional blemish.

Buy it.

Yves Saint Laurent Creme Blush in Fuschia Temptation. 

$38 Bucks.

You dip your fingers in it and swipe in on your cheeks. It basically feels like nothing going on and blends like nobody's business, if Nobody actually had any business.

You look all perky and awake and multi-tasker and stuffs. Do not be afraid of the color. It diffuses to a mellow blush.

Buy it.

Dior Rouge Rose Caprice (475), pictured above, Sheer Baby Pink

Dior Rouge Rose Basier (361), Perfect Natural Pink

Dior Rouge Brun Samarcande (434), Natural Pink Brown

$32 Bucks Apiece.

For day. 

I mix-y and I match-y. Super emollient, long lasting, really luxe-y feeling. No need to layer on a separate lip balm. This does it all.

Buy it.

Dior Addict Extreme Lipstick Black Tie (987), pictured above, Sheer Deepest Berry

Dior Addict Extreme Lipstick Sunset Boulevard (829), Sheer Berry

$31 Bucks Apiece. 

For night.

Pigmented lip gloss in stick form, moisturizing, the only one(s) you'll need.

It's all sexy and junk.

Buy it.

Volum' Express The Mega Plush by Maybelline in Blackest Black

$8 Bucks.

Neat formula won't make your lovely little lashes brittle.

Spidery brush grabs all of your hairs.

The End. Buy it.

Paul & Joe Mascara Duo in Noir

$33 Bucks.

Pricer, but the strange flat-ended side deposits an indecent amount of product onto your lashes. It is my favorite by far. Lashes shine like it's a Pantene commercial. You'll holler like it's a Herbal essence commercial (if you're lucky).

Hard to find, but:

Buy it.

Laura Mercier Tightline Cake Liner in Black Ebony

$23 Bucks.

Add a little water, et voila! Beautimus. 

Long-lasting on your face,

and this little cake liner lasts about six months.

Buy it, buy it, buy it.

Revlon Moon Drops Lipstick in Persian Melon, left, and Blase Apricot, at right.

$9 bucks.

When I wear them, everyone thinks they are Mac.

They're not. 

Lots of pigment, NOT moisturizing, so, buy it, and then put this over them:

Rosebud Perfume's Strawberry Smith's Rosebud Salve

$7 Bucks

I've tried the rest. 

This is the best.

Buy...

That's what I put on my face on the daily.

It is an investment. But once you have found a product you can enter into a mutually beneficial relationship with, whatever the cost, you can spend your energy doing all the other awesome things that REALLY matter. 

Like clothes shopping!

I'm kidding, I'm kidding!

:)

t.

Maybe I Wanna Do What Bunnies Do

me & moses getting rich.

So Long, Pops

Hello, fellow travelers!

It is I. I have emerged from my grief-induced coma resultant from the death of my pops, Ralphie. For those of you who knew him, you can understand why this is such a huge gaping loss for all of us. It has been ... difficult, to say the least. However, the planet continues spinning on its axis, the sun rises every morning, the kids have poo diapers that won't change themselves. So I go on. We go on.

I didn't grow up with my dad. My mother had me when she was 18 years old, and my dad was eight years older than she, an epileptic, heroin-addicted alcoholic. So, once, when he was in jail for acquiring a mass of DUI's, my mom and I visited him to say goodbye. 

I didn't see him again for 15 years.

We were reunited when I turned 19 through a series of events I won't go through here. He had cleaned up, given his life, heart, soul, and mind over to Jesus, and was a new creation. He also dabbled a bit in this and that.

I loved him, and he loved me. Not a perfect relationship, yadda yadda yadda. I can say with full conviction that there is now no one left on this planet who shares my exact odd humor. I feel as if I have died as well.

But we go on.